Create a custom theme
0
Teenagers: Masturbate Frequently
Posted by
,
09 January 2005
·
731 views
I don't know how many of you masturbate frequently, but if you don't START NOW.
Why? Masturbation is good for you.
First of all masturbation stops prostate cancer yup that's right folks! Masturbation stops you getting prostate cancer (I am never getting Prostate Cancer) so wack off all the time. Never stop. In bed, in the shower, everytime you have a spare moment wack it out, and remember, everytime you do you reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer. Hey, you're not doing it for you, you're doing it for yer prostate. Print a copy of that article out, and put it under yer bed. If yer mum walks in to see that you've got an issue of playboy magazine out and are going at it, get out the article. Explain to her that you are only trying to make yourself healthier. You're only trying to keep safe mum! She'll hug you and leave you too it. Make sure that when you hug her your dick has deflated, else it could be worrying.
Second of all masturbation relieves stress. When you orgasm your body produces a large amount of serotonin, this creates a general feeling of well being and contentment. Stress is linked to a variety of problems- the heart, drowsyness, constipation, loss of appetite, and it weakens your immune system making you more likely to get diseases like the flu. So knock one out, stop minor disease!
Third of all masturbation helps you sleep. When you orgasm for the next quarter of an hour or so your body finds it easier to sleep. I happen to off gotten to the point where I find it practically impossible to sleep without having had a good tug first. Lack of sleep is linked to stress problems, but also mental problems as well, such as paranoia, poor vision (TAKE THAT; OLD WIVES TALES!) and lack of concentration (which can adversely affect your schoolwork) so have a tug and get some better grades! Masturbation: It's Educational!
Of course there's the old wives tale: masturbation makes you blind. Bullcrap, I never stop tugging from the time I wake up til the time I go to sleep. Hell Im typing one handedly right now. My left hand is uhh busy. Ahh internet porn, such a wonderful thing.
And don't listen to the Pope, cos that guys so healthy. The Catholic Church can lick my hairy balls.
So masturbate: it's not for fun, it's for the good of your health!
Why? Masturbation is good for you.
First of all masturbation stops prostate cancer yup that's right folks! Masturbation stops you getting prostate cancer (I am never getting Prostate Cancer) so wack off all the time. Never stop. In bed, in the shower, everytime you have a spare moment wack it out, and remember, everytime you do you reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer. Hey, you're not doing it for you, you're doing it for yer prostate. Print a copy of that article out, and put it under yer bed. If yer mum walks in to see that you've got an issue of playboy magazine out and are going at it, get out the article. Explain to her that you are only trying to make yourself healthier. You're only trying to keep safe mum! She'll hug you and leave you too it. Make sure that when you hug her your dick has deflated, else it could be worrying.
Second of all masturbation relieves stress. When you orgasm your body produces a large amount of serotonin, this creates a general feeling of well being and contentment. Stress is linked to a variety of problems- the heart, drowsyness, constipation, loss of appetite, and it weakens your immune system making you more likely to get diseases like the flu. So knock one out, stop minor disease!
Third of all masturbation helps you sleep. When you orgasm for the next quarter of an hour or so your body finds it easier to sleep. I happen to off gotten to the point where I find it practically impossible to sleep without having had a good tug first. Lack of sleep is linked to stress problems, but also mental problems as well, such as paranoia, poor vision (TAKE THAT; OLD WIVES TALES!) and lack of concentration (which can adversely affect your schoolwork) so have a tug and get some better grades! Masturbation: It's Educational!
Of course there's the old wives tale: masturbation makes you blind. Bullcrap, I never stop tugging from the time I wake up til the time I go to sleep. Hell Im typing one handedly right now. My left hand is uhh busy. Ahh internet porn, such a wonderful thing.
And don't listen to the Pope, cos that guys so healthy. The Catholic Church can lick my hairy balls.
So masturbate: it's not for fun, it's for the good of your health!
where the hell did masturbation come in!
