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Suspect you're a moron? Don't prove it!
Posted by
,
16 February 2005
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29 views
Today me and my mother went to Portsmouth for a university open day. Basically we got given tours of Portsmouth from students who wished they weren't there, and lecturers who just read us the propaganda.
During said open day we split off into two groups. Parents in one, students in the other. Parents got an informative presentation of student finance, support and accomodation (my mother tells me one guy was actually sleeping through this) while we had a taster lecture. The taster lecture itself surrounded terrorism and counter-terrorist policy, stretching over a surprisingly large range of issues (the lecturer at one point pointed out that terrorist organisations were a form of employment and Iraq has an unemployment rate of 70% right now). I fully enjoyed the lecture, as you would expect from me. I stepped out of the lecture and a girl yelled out at the top of her voice "What the hell was that about?!"
Let's review the evidence:
1. You've applied for a course in politics and you are now here on an open day for that course.
2. The lecturer suspiciously used the word 'politics' a lot during the lecture.
3. The lecture was on terrorism, a central feature of modern day politics.
4. At the top of every piece of lamenated sheet being projected onto the wall as 'Portsmouth Politics'
5. Outside the university on a huge sign was written 'Politics and Sociology Open Day today!'
Based on this evidence it seems pretty obvious that you were in actual fact enjoying a lecture of Bio-Chemistry.
I pretty much assumed this girl was an idiot when I first set eyes on her because she had hoop earrings. Hoop earings are the official warning sign of moronic women. The larger the earrings the less intellectually capable the woman. You get those ones where the earrings actually rest on the womans shoulder. If they get any bigger than that then the woman will be found lying in a corner drooling, unable to speak coherently. Basically she will become John. It is likely that at this point she will develop a liking for Eastenders, Big Brother, Busted, Trisha and the idea of dating Graham Norton.
As a result hoop earrings are an invaluable aid to the modern male looking to avoid interaction with a female beyond 'Yer what?'
In all seriousness though, if you're going to do a degree like Politics they're going to expect you to know what 'hegemony' means. In fact 'liberalism' might be a start.
Educating yourself is hardly a difficult prospect, and when you're talking about the course you want to do for 3 years in an entirely different city I would call it necessary.
Sometimes I think Hitler had it right- we should sterilise the chronically moronic and ugly for the sake of the human race.
Wow, that's probably the most offensive thing I've ever written. I hope the Sun's reading, heaven forbid they go a week without villainising some poor bastard.
During said open day we split off into two groups. Parents in one, students in the other. Parents got an informative presentation of student finance, support and accomodation (my mother tells me one guy was actually sleeping through this) while we had a taster lecture. The taster lecture itself surrounded terrorism and counter-terrorist policy, stretching over a surprisingly large range of issues (the lecturer at one point pointed out that terrorist organisations were a form of employment and Iraq has an unemployment rate of 70% right now). I fully enjoyed the lecture, as you would expect from me. I stepped out of the lecture and a girl yelled out at the top of her voice "What the hell was that about?!"
Let's review the evidence:
1. You've applied for a course in politics and you are now here on an open day for that course.
2. The lecturer suspiciously used the word 'politics' a lot during the lecture.
3. The lecture was on terrorism, a central feature of modern day politics.
4. At the top of every piece of lamenated sheet being projected onto the wall as 'Portsmouth Politics'
5. Outside the university on a huge sign was written 'Politics and Sociology Open Day today!'
Based on this evidence it seems pretty obvious that you were in actual fact enjoying a lecture of Bio-Chemistry.
I pretty much assumed this girl was an idiot when I first set eyes on her because she had hoop earrings. Hoop earings are the official warning sign of moronic women. The larger the earrings the less intellectually capable the woman. You get those ones where the earrings actually rest on the womans shoulder. If they get any bigger than that then the woman will be found lying in a corner drooling, unable to speak coherently. Basically she will become John. It is likely that at this point she will develop a liking for Eastenders, Big Brother, Busted, Trisha and the idea of dating Graham Norton.
As a result hoop earrings are an invaluable aid to the modern male looking to avoid interaction with a female beyond 'Yer what?'
In all seriousness though, if you're going to do a degree like Politics they're going to expect you to know what 'hegemony' means. In fact 'liberalism' might be a start.
Educating yourself is hardly a difficult prospect, and when you're talking about the course you want to do for 3 years in an entirely different city I would call it necessary.
Sometimes I think Hitler had it right- we should sterilise the chronically moronic and ugly for the sake of the human race.
Wow, that's probably the most offensive thing I've ever written. I hope the Sun's reading, heaven forbid they go a week without villainising some poor bastard.
This post has gone on long enough without a comment.