Create a custom theme
0
The Wonderful World of B-List Celebs and Fitness!
Posted by
,
02 March 2005
·
137 views
You know what I think the world needs? More B-List celebritys making fitness videos! Seriously, I can't get enough of them. Each one is more original and fascinating than the last.
I mean check out this one:
I can just imagine the board meeting for that video.
Wow, I bet that video sold out in literally minutes. There's loads of these things.
Well I expect plenty of women want to look like Lorraine Kelly, a woman incapable of any emotion beyond pleasant happiness. I'm sure they all want to look like mid-40s housewives. Lorraine Kelly must be particularly succesful in this genre, my amazon search brought up no less than 3 Lorraine Kelly fitness videos.
Unfortunately Davina no matter how many men you sleep with at once (3?! Kinky b*tch!) You'll still have a ######ing massive nose.
On my travels around Amazon I managed to bump into this list. Someone needs friends.
I eventually began to wonder who purchased these videos until it became blindingly obvious: sad pathetic lonely women who haven't had sex in years. Either that or its all some form of revenge. Don't like a relative but have to give them a Christmas present anyway because of etiquette? Give them Nadia's Latino Workout and in one blistering blow inform them A: They're Fat B: You have no knowledge whatsoever of practical ethnicity C: They're so ugly that their best hope in life is to look like a woman who used to be a dude.
Give the video to a bloke and the insult is treble.
I mean check out this one:
I can just imagine the board meeting for that video.
QUOTE
Corporate Whore #1: Quick! We need to innovate and/or bring something new to the 'Irritating Celebrity you sorta know, but don't really care about gets fit genre'
Corporate Whore #2: We could get that chick who won Big Brother to do a Latino Dance Workout.
Corporate Whore #3: Didn't she used to be a guy? And isn't she from Portugal?
Corporate Whore #2: So?
Corporate Whore #3: Well if I was a woman I'd be sorta offended if someone told me to get as fit as a girl that used to be a guy. You're only Latino if you're South American, and Salsa comes from the Caribbean.
Corporate Whore #2: It's all the same really innit.
Corporate Whore #3: You're English yeah?
Corporate Whore #2: Yes, why?
Corporate Whore #3: How would you feel if you saw a fitness video for an Irish woman, doing Morris Dancing with 'Sexy Scottish Workout' pasted across the title
Corporate Whore #2: Slightly disturbed that anyone would A: Want to Morris Dance, B: Consider the Scottish 'sexy'. Grossly overweight alcoholics don't really turn me on.
Corporate Whore #3: I ######ing give up.
Corporate Whore #1: Right, we'll do this Nadia thing, and someone get researching on that Morris Dance idea. Where are you going Corporate Whore #3?
Corporate Whore #3: I just realised that my life is without any meaning and suicide is the only way out.
Corporate Whore #1: Just as long as you're back by the end of lunch
Corporate Whore #2: We could get that chick who won Big Brother to do a Latino Dance Workout.
Corporate Whore #3: Didn't she used to be a guy? And isn't she from Portugal?
Corporate Whore #2: So?
Corporate Whore #3: Well if I was a woman I'd be sorta offended if someone told me to get as fit as a girl that used to be a guy. You're only Latino if you're South American, and Salsa comes from the Caribbean.
Corporate Whore #2: It's all the same really innit.
Corporate Whore #3: You're English yeah?
Corporate Whore #2: Yes, why?
Corporate Whore #3: How would you feel if you saw a fitness video for an Irish woman, doing Morris Dancing with 'Sexy Scottish Workout' pasted across the title
Corporate Whore #2: Slightly disturbed that anyone would A: Want to Morris Dance, B: Consider the Scottish 'sexy'. Grossly overweight alcoholics don't really turn me on.
Corporate Whore #3: I ######ing give up.
Corporate Whore #1: Right, we'll do this Nadia thing, and someone get researching on that Morris Dance idea. Where are you going Corporate Whore #3?
Corporate Whore #3: I just realised that my life is without any meaning and suicide is the only way out.
Corporate Whore #1: Just as long as you're back by the end of lunch
Wow, I bet that video sold out in literally minutes. There's loads of these things.
Well I expect plenty of women want to look like Lorraine Kelly, a woman incapable of any emotion beyond pleasant happiness. I'm sure they all want to look like mid-40s housewives. Lorraine Kelly must be particularly succesful in this genre, my amazon search brought up no less than 3 Lorraine Kelly fitness videos.
Unfortunately Davina no matter how many men you sleep with at once (3?! Kinky b*tch!) You'll still have a ######ing massive nose.
On my travels around Amazon I managed to bump into this list. Someone needs friends.
I eventually began to wonder who purchased these videos until it became blindingly obvious: sad pathetic lonely women who haven't had sex in years. Either that or its all some form of revenge. Don't like a relative but have to give them a Christmas present anyway because of etiquette? Give them Nadia's Latino Workout and in one blistering blow inform them A: They're Fat B: You have no knowledge whatsoever of practical ethnicity C: They're so ugly that their best hope in life is to look like a woman who used to be a dude.
Give the video to a bloke and the insult is treble.
LOL
P.S. It's celebrities.