[DjZvEr]

TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2004...
(according to Reader's Digest)




Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.



Without missing a beat....she said,"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family.



She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"



The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."



When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.


Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."



Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."



AND NOW........FOR THE..........
#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE
YEAR 2004....

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

[.Aaron]

Funny.

[Sunlite]

especially thought the last one was funny!

[elj]

Fabulous, especially the last one.

[UBERHOST.NET]

Very good that, thanks DjZvEr!

[FrostedPopTart]

They are all good; thanks for sharing .

[Vortex-Steve]

Have seen the last one as a joke before, very good though

[angelSakura]

totally awesome.....i love the third one. i might use that some time

[ssj4gogita4]

Cops are so clueless :|

[Roadkill71]

Very cool ones. Too bad most of my smart ass answers only occur to me half a day later

[Steve]

[savaria]

i loved the cop one, thats a classic, but i could of sworn the truck driver and the bride one is from The Blue Collar Comedy Tour... anyways still awesome

[Adam Kinder]

Furnace, on Nov 8 2005, 01:21 PM, said:

Have seen the last one as a joke before, very good though

I remember seeing it on bash.org, but don't remember which quote it was

[lister]

Absolutely brilliant

[Why Two Kay]

[TotalPrime]

Love the last one.

[DragonFire0729]

roflmao

[• Jay •]

Malchiel, on Nov 8 2005, 05:08 PM, said:

i loved the cop one, thats a classic, but i could of sworn the truck driver and the bride one is from The Blue Collar Comedy Tour... anyways still awesome

bride one?

[Maddoktor2]

Roadkill71, on Nov 8 2005, 12:41 PM, said:

Very cool ones. Too bad most of my smart ass answers only occur to me half a day later

Welcome to the club...

[DjZvEr]

Its fun to give smart ass answers to your professor esp if they cool and wont fale you for it, lol.